Author: Robert Gerard Hunt - page 19

Please Rewind

Do the abbreviations SP, LP, and SLP mean anything to you? The year is 2009.  The setting:  an elementary school.  During a break between classes, I dart into the office and scan the staff mailboxes.  Lurking in my apportioned slot is a shrink-wrapped, rectangular box of vaguely familiar dimensions.  I retrieve the item and turn it..

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The Price of Vandalism

Ramp to nowhere:  the morning after fire destroyed the Sway Fun glider. Where were you on the Saturday night after Thanksgiving?  That’s what the police will be asking you, if they ever discover that you were responsible for the apparent act of arson that lit up the field behind our house like a campfire gone..

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Son Of A Son Of A Son Of A Son Of A Civil War Soldier

The Hunt men:  from left, Grandfather Roy, Great-Grandfather Frank, and Great-Great-Grandfather Horace. I drive past two thousand, two hundred and sixty dead Confederate soldiers every morning on my way to work.  Perhaps this would not be noteworthy were I a denizen of the south, but I live in Columbus, Ohio, well into old Union territory. ..

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A Study In Scarred Lit.

John Watson regales us with yet another adventurous yarn. There is a wonderful moment in John Kennedy Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces in which the eccentric protagonist is so incensed by what he sees on a movie screen that he cannot help shouting out his indignation.  “Oh, good heavens!” bellows Ignatius J. Reilly to the..

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I Once Was A Man Who Lived In A ‘Shoe…

It was the only campus dorm in which every resident was suspended.  Literally. Ohio Stadium is not quite what it used to be.  Though its tradition of hosting Buckeye football games continues unabated and the structure itself remains an unmistakable landmark for sports fans and aircraft pilots alike, a piece of it that thrived for..

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Broadway Boogie-Woogie

As Aunt Peg would have said, “Isn’t that somethin’?” I remember my Great Aunt Peg as a kindly old woman who seemed to be in a perpetual state of amusement.  She ambled about with her stout frame and white hair, her sparkling eyes framed by glacial grooves of laugh-worn wrinkles, her cherubic mouth always somewhere..

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You’ll Probably Need Stitches

Those points are supposed to go down toward the ground. The house in which I grew up had aluminum downspouts that descended from our gutters and curved away from the foundation atop beveled cinder block.  They channeled rainwater adequately, but they were prone to rust and had sharp edges at their openings.  Not much of..

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Dynadormophis Up

What if people could bank, sell, and buy their sleep? It doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with a sleeper or a dynamo, every service call on a Dynadorm unit leads to an angry or incoherent customer.  That’s why there’s such a high turnover rate for us service techs, never mind the money.  I don’t care..

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Hostel Is A Homophone

The bridge from Sandy Hook to Harpers Ferry…and also from lunacy to sanity. “Nothing just happens!  Nothing just happens!” thundered the evangelizing voice of T.D. Jakes as I gnawed on fried chicken from the comfort of my hotel bed.  The congregation shouted its approval of their leader’s assertion that there is no such thing as a..

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Trumpet Lessons

The bane of my adolescent existence. Black Monday. My parents were disappointed with the label I had affixed to the evenings on which my trumpet lessons were scheduled.  Having spent a good deal of money to purchase the instrument itself, they no doubt would have been pleased had their son expressed any measure of gratitude..

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