Hostel Is A Homophone

A harrowing encounter at Harpers Ferry, unexpected expenses, and justly punctured pride.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Trumpet Lessons

RGH wanted to quit his music instruction. So did his teacher.

(Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


You’ll Probably Need Stitches

Sometimes it just makes sense to bleed in the living room.


Broadway Boogie Woogie

Why RGH’s aunt had such eccentric decor.


I Once Was A Man Who Lived In A Shoe

It was the only dorm in which every resident was suspended. Literally.


Son Of A Son Of A Son Of A Son Of A Civil War Soldier

RGH wanted to quit his music instruction. So did his teacher.



What do Bugs Bunny, taking a bath, and a precocious vocabulary have in common?

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Stranger Danger

That sinking feeling when you fear you’re about to die.


The Reluctant Athlete

It takes a prison to make RGH play left field.


Dumb and Dumber

Incompetence in the kitchen.


The Annotated Edward Cramer

Very early RGH work. Under a pseudonym, of course.


The Rise And Fall Of The Edward Hannon Band

From instant fame to humiliating failure, all in one month.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Hip Hop

Crude. Irreverent. Sexist. Riding in his trash truck was the best part of RGH’s summer job.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Hot Hot Hot

Sweltering Memphis, blazing Las Vegas, and a doomed Easter Bunny.


The Lawnmower Man

Lawn maintenance, the necessary evil.


Alice In Limaland

Be careful what you promise your children.


The Honeymooners

Chicago, 1952. Starring RGH’s parents as the naive newlyweds.


Death By Piano

Brother Brian’s torment, RGH’s pianistic glory.


You May Say I’m A Dreamer

RGH’s recurring dreams.


Bombs Away

Some plastic darts, a little imagination, and a cardboard city.


The Old Man And The Sea

A humbling reckoning on the Outer Banks.


Kill The Wabbit

When the family pet is a lethal predator.


The Lost Art Of The Long-Form Obituary

A tribute from another time.



How to invent profanity.


If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Africa

On safari in Ohio.


You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away

An adolescent’s bold plan to acquire an issue of Playboy.


The Vinyl Frontier

The playset conundrum: Mego Star Trek or Mego Planet of the Apes?


Turkey Bowl

Past participants reflect on a bygone tradition.


I Wanted My MTV

When the M stood for music.


The Dark Sides Of The Room

At ease in the absence of light.


That’s Entertainment

Finding meta-amusement in the unlikeliest places.


Every Boy Does Magic

Prestidigitation, the introverted boy’s rite of passage.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Green Machine

Freedom on a recumbent three-wheeler.



For RGH, the lunch break was just as trying as the rest of the school day.



Intimidation, mind games, and cut-throat Intellevision competition.


Cans ‘n’ Stuff

Father-and-son heaven at the end of our street.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


Grandpa, Sasquatch & Me

Rediscovering the heart of a taciturn grandfather.


Anxiety In Bee-Minor

Did RGH really take a dive in the school spelling bee?


A Summer Place

Heaven was a quarter in the age of the five-ball pinball machine.

Now on audio at RGH Reads RGH)


The Plexus Tuxedo Project

The dissolution of a teenage songwriting partnership.